I am in a group that is studying Romans 8. We are supposed to cover it in 6 weeks, which I think is moving a bit fast, but we are surviving. This morning we covered verses that seem pretty odd to the average human (that includes me). They talk about the Holy Spirit praying on our behalf. Using groanings and utterings that we can’t understand.
It blows me away that God is so intent on our relationship that He has the Holy Spirit communicate for us in the moments we can’t for ourselves. I think of times in my life of deep sorrow where I couldn’t speak or think prayers because of the tears. I was crying too hard to pray. Was the Holy Spirit in that moment, praying on my behalf? I hope so. Although it is weird to think of, it is pretty awesome that our God is this personal. He is so intent on us that he constantly knows what our prayers should be even when we don’t know.
This got me thinking about how I pray and how I want to pray. Right now I seem to pray out of desperation. Save me from this now, type of thing. There is nothing wrong with that. God wants us to be desperate for Him. And He wants us to come to Him with everything. This song I like because it describes my posture often.
I love that song and it describes me, but I do aspire to a greater depth. One where I can totally set aside my agenda and just hear from God what He wants me to hear. Where I don’t clog up the airways with my noise, I just wait on Him. This song convicts me in that arena.
I want to get to this place of surrender. I look in that direction some days. But I am often afraid. Afraid of what He might ask of me. Afraid of where He might send me next. I know He loves me, but this life can be so hard. Help me God, keep my eyes fixed on the life that is to come after this temporal world. So that I may welcome the suffering of these days as a small price to pay for the glory and splendor for the days of eternity in Your presence.